Carrie in Sex in the city is one of the most iconic fictional characters to grace television and we couldn’t be more impressed with her growth through the seasons. We saw the highs and low of her relationship with men and her friends which culminated in one of the best lines in the finale “The most exciting, challenging and significant relationship of all is the one you have with yourself. And if you can find someone to love the you that you love, well, that’s just fabulous.”

I couldn’t agree more so I subscribe to the command to ‘Love God, Love Yourself and Love Others’. If I’m able to take on the challenge to love myself, then I have enough love to give to others. Here are some ways to know whether you’re in a good relationship with yourself and some tips to help in areas you may be lacking.

You practise self-care

You naturally want to take care of those you love, whether it is buying them gifts r helping out financially. For whatever reason, we at times neglect doing the same for ourselves. Practise self-care is sure sign that you are in a god relationship with yourself and this can either be getting adequate sleep, exercising or juts have quiet time.

Love Offering: Treat yourself to something that feels indulgent like a bubble bath and face mask

You use social media to share and not validate

When you post from a place of contentment, your aim is to connect with people. When you post from a place of discontent, your posts are used as a way of seeking validation from others whose opinions should not mater… (that’s maddening especially if they are strangers)

Love Offering: Evaluate the motive behind your posts, if it’s a moment to share or remember, post to your hearts content. If you’re posting to be petty, make people feel bad or to portray yourself as superior to others, hold off posting.

You put yourself first

My dad always tells me that what I put out there is what people will take, meaning that if I’m willing to work myself to the bone people won’t see anything wrong with asking me to take on more responsibilities. With that said, learn to strike the balance between your wellbeing and supporting others.

Love Offering: Take stock of your relationships and weed out the ones where you’re sacrificing your heath and/or happiness. Once you’ve identified those problematic areas, create an action list of o you can better set boundaries for yourself.

You’re financially responsible

Financial security is a definite sign of loving yourself. Not only do you have some savings for a rainy day, there is a great feeling that you can get what you want, when you want. It also means that you are not careless wit how you spend your money.

Love Offering: Have a look at your montly income, after you pay your bills; pay yourself 10% of what is left. The money you pay yourself is what you save; everything that’s left is for your enjoyment.

You accept yourself flaws and all

This is by far one of the hardest one. Only when you’re in a really good place will you be at peace with yourself and where you may fall short. Instead of looking in the mirror and critiquing your face and body, practice loving them instead of worrying about something that’s not in your control.

Love Offering: Make a one-time list of your flaws. Just get it all out. Then imagine if each one was a complaint of a loved one and write a positive reply.

You don’t sway in the wake of people’s opinions

People who are self-assured aren’t swayed by external opinions, good or bad. More than not, we remember the negative things people say about us than the positive things. When you’re in a solid relationship with yourself, nothing that comes for you from outside will change the way you feel inside.

Love Offering: Keep a running list of things you’ve accomplished that makes you feel good on the inside. This should not include compliments made by outsiders.

Keep loving you xx

 

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